Saddest day

Should i or should not?
Mom is telling me the same things as fr beginning..
but im js too deep into it..
im so confuse now..it's been a whole day..
think many things through out the day, get different treat from u which i nvr feel like dis b4..
I hope to continue with a better ending..

Through out the day, i only manage to complete a movie poster, not even sketches..
no mood to do anything, watched whole day drama, and finished the 20 episode drama.
It's been a hard day for me to get the time pass..
Sitting in front laptop, watched PPS non-stop, my mind is blank..
through out the drama, js think of many things..
Saw the pity girl ran away fr home bcz of getting sickness, but her husband still love her and find her bck home no matter what..
So heart...

What should i do? Blank mind and im lost somewhere..
i know it is very annoying with the same thing happening everytime..
no doubt, its my fault..but i din mean it..
and u have treated me with such reply which i nvr feel lk dis b4..

Cried for whole day..feel tired..
knew u still care abt me, but i js feel the cold fr u..
with the words u used, my heart broken..
It's not to blame u for any, but js how i feel now..
If im so annoying to u..i have no right to ask for yr forgive..

U r going bck soon, and for the following days i will be alone here
no one knows how i felt..even mom awaited me in front pc, wait me on FB..
Mom's advice..should i take it or not?
Perhaps without me yr life will be greater..i duno..
Perhaps without my exist, everyone will have better living..
Had think of running away, but it is not a good solution either
Friends and family, the only living creature on earth which everyone owns..
is still the best companion ever..
but for me, it's js an empty shell..
Felt nothing left for me..
suicide..had been thinking for it ever since i hv no other better solution..
So, what kind of suicide will be leaving with no pain but peace..
Human on earth had nothing left besides pressure..

I am tired...hope to leave this crucial planet and go to somewhere..
perhaps heaven, people say the place are nice..
So, why don't give a try..
Btw,no barriers for me to do so..

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