Tuesday, October 27, 2009

24th October 2009

This is a late update post.

1 year 3 mths 5 days....the day has come for both of us. Im still fail to hold it back after all. I have nothing to say, hardly utter a word. Because u had make up your mind and nothing can change your mind. You had make this decision and i have to respect it. No doubt, i m feeling bad, real bad deep in heart. Once again, my heart brokes, it's hurting....tears dry..u had chosen the right day to say it.
Perhaps i've been through it after several times of talks and one time of breaking...
Perhaps i bcm stronger after last month...my tears bcm dry...less tears than last month.

Undeniable, September month of 2009 is a worst month ever for me. Everything just doesn't goes well..and i had cry for uncountable times.. the worst is i had cried and had sleepless night for 3D3N...i did bad on my Comm Theory paper, and i deserved a D for it. Things that happen can't be blamed to anyone but myself. I just can't control myself from everything that happened.

We had talks, talks which outrageous most couple would talk to each other...not like a couple at all..And on this Saturday night, u came and find me, i have weird feeling coz it is still early and u had come. We went for a walk, i dare not talk too much, i can feel that there is something wrong when u start to ask and talk something which i feel not at ease. I knew it, trying to avoid and kept quiet along the journey. But, i failed to do so. U said it again to me, and waiting for my answer on it. So, i choose to respect you and let you go rather than hurting you nor causing you suffer.

I choose to suffer my own rather seeing you suffer for the coming days. I do this because I Love You. Although we no longer together, but still i want to tell you that i never regret of being together with you, never regret of knowing you and never hate you for the reason you wanted to rest. Although everything has passed, but we once had beautiful memories, u had give me happiness and joy in my life for the pass 1 year. Thank you!

I hope that you will enjoy the rest of your days in your single life, perhaps i am not the perfect match for you. Perhaps u will find a better one in future, but my heart for you will never fade away.

I hope that you can hold your promise that you had made the day you leaved. I am glad that at last you made a promise to me, and happy for that. Although my big hope of promise is hoping you make your promise when we are together, but u can't make any. Because you worry you can't make it, because you had think of leaving me. I think that is the reason why u never make a promise when we are together. And now, you make a promise to me after leaving me. Although i am not that happy of it, but it is more than enough. I will not demand much since i have no rights to demand much from you. I am nobody to anyone since the day you left.

Feeling sad, unattended, awful, lonely, wanted to cry out loud, but i know that no matter how much of tears will not held back our relationship. But i do hope someday, we can get back together. You are someone special to me, i will not hate you for anything. I just hope you can stay beside me. Being cared and loved by someone is unique, feeling special. Really need you....You never did anything wrong to me, all the while is me who causing all the havoc. You did bring happiness to me, cheer me when im down. So pls dun blame yourself for making me sad. But for the reason of yours problem and the rest u need, i have to let you go although i don't want to do so.

The night we talk, sitting on the roadside of my place, my mind is blank, i have nothing to say and no idea of what to say anymore. Tried hard to hold back tears but it still drooling down my cheeks. Can't help but to shake your hand and your wish is granted. Thank you for taking care of me all this while. Appreciate everything you did for me. I would not say you gave me alots of material stuff but u gave me care and love. I will not demand any material thingy as in a relationship, love, trust and care outcome the material thingy. I wanted to let you know that i believe in you all this while, the way that makes u think that im not in trust with you is my stupid character and attitude which makes u feel so.

To you, if you are reading this post, i am still loving you as i always do. I don't know whether you still loving me not..but i will always be there for u anytime when u need a listener.

p/s: I LOVE YOU.

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