Tell Me Why...

Why this always happen on me?
last time, now..even in future perhaps?
izit my comm skills to bad or im a stingy person?
questions marks arise in my mind..
my skull is leaking..
of piles of assignments and presentations
and these things comes into my mind too..

sometimes, its irritating, annoying
may be im too hard to communicate with..
sometimes, i question my ownself..
does i have problems?
i don't know..

hard to express feelings..
duno who to express with
duno who is the right person to talk to
not families..not friends..
who?

doubts comes to me..
m i too easy to become a jealous person?
or im too "small gas"?
or im no longer important..
im just no one..
no one to anybody else..

sometimes, i just hope to run away
but i knew avoiding won't get things sort out..
it will only create more misunderstanding
i want to cry
but duno who to go to..

sometimes, tears roll down just like that
wetting my face..
perhaps its stress
or not..
perhaps i thk too much..
or not..

m i pushing myself too hard?
no one can tell me..
even myself duno the answer

i miss home
i miss family
i miss you
i miss everything
i miss my friend
but
i js having doubts in my heart

m i going to the right direction?
m i doing the right things?
m i making the right decision?
ever since i make my first step into everything

i would like to apologize for whatever i've done which hurt people besides me
sorry..

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