Sunday, October 5, 2008

Feel Stress Staying With Family..

Arg..i'm getting crazy already! Can't stand my dad's ego and self-righteous attitude...
He always keep an eye on each and every movement of people, criticizing people and throw out hurtful words from his mouth. Hate it! Even Ray(bro), mom and i dislike his egoism attitude. He always think that he is the one who is doing the right things and others don't. What the hell he think he is,huh? Every human being have their own right and own ways of doing a deed, so he shouldn't comment so much plus criticize people's yes or no.
Ever since he become a docent as his another freelance job, he kept on nagging on us.Yet, he always find those successful leader or someone as an example and start telling grandfather story. Boring...I've been living in this family for 20years and his attitude get worse day by day whenever he learn new things. No doubt, you might be right sharing what you've learnt with others but don't expect people to follow the way you doing things. Although learning by example is a good way to improve our living life and can enhance our knowledge, but there are still a so-called "human rights"! So, please don't ever compare us with others. Everyone have their own dream or passion on doing something but not everyone should do it in the same way. Its quite tiring of hearing those yap everyday. Hard to imagine if i'm still living with him under the same roof!
Dad, you should listen to others opinion, ideas and advice. Don't just think that people's voice out is bull-shit! You aren't that 100% correct in either way. Hence, please understand others difficulties and don't look down on those poor people or low ability in achieving a great life as u do. Lower grade citizen have their own way of leading life and the are happy with it. Do not think that when you are now is a successful businessman and rich enough to go travel around the world, you will be considered as the high class people! You're wrong because you don't even respect your own parents and you are not deserved to be known as the higher class people in this society. Outsiders who do not know you well might assume that you are a good leader and good in whatever you are doing. But on the other hand, some people are back-stabbing and saying about your no-nos'. So don't be that happy and please don't exaggerate by saying that you are getting heart attack whenever you feel stress from work or get a cool feedback from bro on doing something. You are just having high blood pressure where it is a heredity sickness from generation to generation.
To be frank, i've been living in a cool and unhappy life for the past 20 years. I'm always living in a fear and trembling life ever since i was a kid. Fearing of this and that, whether should i tell you the truth or not, will you be mad or wack me up after what i've done...many questions of fear pop up in my mind. Whenever i wana ask you on something or tell or talk with you, I have to rearrange a good sentence in my mind and make a playback in order there are no mistake when i speak out. If there were a small mistake, grandmother story is coming to will be nagging or scolding and make the story as long as what i would be in the future? What i would be doing if i'm in the working society? What my children will think about me if i have my own family? Hell far away story!!!Can't stand anymore...that's why i opt to study in KL lastime..
Now, I'm back home to have my long sem break and i'm not happy at all. For instance, happen to sit with you in the same round table having lunch today seems to be my hardest moment because i'm so stress sitting beside you. I'm so afraid of each and every of my movement and dare not to talk, afraid-ing that i might talk something wrong or talk in the wrong way. Whenever you join me and mom for shopping, it wouldn't be a happy time for us as u will keep on rushing us and nagging us why buy so many dairy products or fruits as you don't like it at all. Ending up our shopping day to be a moody day..
There are many to be said but its uncountable and i'm speechless already..
Feel so tension a!!!!sigh...

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